Being a parent is scary enough without doubting yourself. So I am going to start with some words of encouragement... Know that you were made for this!
Tyler and I always knew we wanted to be parents. We have been praying and planning for a long time... However, up until the moment our daughter was born, we had no idea what we were doing. We still don’t have it down 100%. We have a long way to go but we are making it work! We are figuring it out step by step and I am slowly realizing that (even though they mean well) people make this process so much scarier than it has to be. As if this world isn’t terrifying enough... you now have to decide what detergent is natural enough to use on their clothes, what kind of bed/ swaddle is the safest to sleep in, what soap is good to use on their bottles. It’s nerve racking and just when you think you have made some great decisions and ordered all the right things, you have to sit down and organize everyone’s advice... people always start that conversation with “oh you will be the best parents!” but somehow finish with the all so worrisome ... “I hope you don’t like sleep, or hot coffee/ food, or showers, or money. Traveling will be so much harder, you can’t go to the grocery store as often, the laundry and bottles are always abundant, I hope you are ready to change a bunch of poopy diapers.” There is always a giggle after these statements, because they mean well, but let's be honest it doesn't make parenting sound appealing. Then there are the questions like, “are you breast feeding and what is your birth plan...” And where this is all true to an extent and the questions are meant to prepare you... I don’t miss life as it was and the questions aren't exactly necessary unless they are followed with personal experiences that will make your life easier. So, let me take these things and spin them for you a bit.
Go ahead and take a nap before baby comes because inevitably you won’t sleep as much at night... and you will be exhausted a lot of the time... but believe me when I say that when your baby falls asleep on your chest, you will both get the best nap you have ever taken.
Hot coffee and warm meals are overrated... that’s what microwaves are for. Take the time to love on your baby. It goes way too fast.
Invest in some dry shampoo and deodorant. No matter how much you stink... your baby doesn’t care. They wait until you get clean to spit up on you anyway!
Spend your money on those cute baby clothes instead of the new shoes you wanted. Everyone is looking at them now anyway.
Yes, traveling is harder... there will be 1,000 extra things to pack, you are never fully prepared, and you will almost always forget something... but watching the wonder in your baby’s eyes as they see something new, is an unbelievable feeling.
Do the grocery pick up... it will save you some money because you won’t pick up the extra cookies off the end cap. But the best part is you don’t have to worry about avoiding anyone. Oh come on... you know we all do it.
The abundance of laundry is annoying, but it was always annoying. Just wash bigger loads.
There will be a lot of diapers. And blowouts. And they will probably pee on you while you are changing the diaper... so sometimes it will take 2. If it is all too much to clean, put them straight in the bath! Because watching a baby giggle in a tub is 100% the best noise you will ever hear in your entire life. And the smell of baby shampoo and lotion ain’t bad either!
Breast feeding is hard and extremely time consuming. It’s okay if it’s not for you. Do what is best for you, your sanity, and your baby. If breast feeding isn't working, try pumping. Same "liquid gold" but you can actually tell how much they are getting. That brought my stress level down significantly. Oh, and others can help you feed when they are eating out of bottles! If neither of those work, get the formula. IT IS OKAY! It may hurt your heart that you can't make breastfeeding work... but your baby will not judge you. Don't stress over things you cannot control. If you are happy, they are happy. Choose happiness. Either way, get ready to wash those bottles though. Pick up some hand cream. The constant washing will dry you out. BUT your baby will get those cute fat baby rolls. Totally worth it.
Last but not least... It’s okay for the only thing on your “birth plan” to be birthing a happy and healthy baby. Don’t set unrealistic expectations. Don’t let the anxiety of playing the right music ruin the experience of bringing the most precious gift into this world. But my real advise in this department, if you are questioning it, get the epidural... you have nothing to prove.
Most of all, wrap your arms around the single greatest thing that has ever happened you... because no matter how much you try, you will never be able to get enough of those snuggles. And when it is your significant others time to snuggle them, watch. Sit and listen. Take it all in because watching how much your baby loves them and how much they love your baby is INCREDIBLE! Your heart will grow by 1,000,000 times. Even if you don’t think it is possible. Sing the songs, even if your singing voice resembles an injured goat. Your sweet babe doesn’t care. I am speaking from experience. Say the prayers. Be the example. Children are never too young to know that Jesus loves them too. Lastly, there is no better feeling than a child smiling when you come into the room because they know who you are. So be present. It’s the only decision you HAVE to make. You are what your baby needs most. They don’t need the fanciest bouncer or the high dollar toys (those aren't always the best anyway). They just need YOU and your heart.
Having a baby is everything. Literally everything... the rollercoaster of parenting is confusing... it’s terrifying but exciting, it is the hardest thing I have ever done but also the easiest, years long but goes by so fast. All in all, it’s not as scary when you take on a positive perspective. Grasp it. Take it all in. Enjoy it. It has only been 4 months for us... but I can honestly say that it goes by fast and it is so much more than you could ever imagine.
