Our most commonly asked questions are, "How do you do it... how do you just pick up and move across the world?" and, "Aren't you glad you get to travel with him? I'm sure long distance would be really hard... How is it when he goes on long road trips and you are by yourself?" Both are usually followed with, "I don't know if I could do it."
Honestly, my first thought is always... "practice makes (almost) perfect". Now, I say almost because I don't believe that there are many things in this world that are truly perfect... but you get the idea. It is all about taking the opportunities to get better at it. I know that phrase usually applies to dance class or learning how to paint... but hang with me here.
As far as moving to a different country... tons of things are different in Japan, sure. Food, language, and transit... the list is endless, but we have done this so many times. Maybe not to this extent, internationally... but moving does happen REALLY often for us. 12 times in the last 3 years to be exact. And each time we move, (or pack for a road trip... which is at least once a week) we pick up a few more skills or helpful hints on how to pack, what to do if we forget something, and what to do when we get there:
- Pack light. HAHA who am I kidding?! I don't pack light... but I should. I only use the comfortable/ athletic clothes anyway. - Don't wait until the last minute... alright... I also don't follow that one. BUT in my defense... I still need some of it up until the last minute. - Take mostly comfortable shoes. As much as I walk around Japan, this one is becoming more and more of a necessity. (I know, I already said in my last post to wear comfortable shoes... I probably sound like a broken record... but you can’t wear them if you don’t pack them!) - You don't have to rent the nicest furniture... take the cheaper package and make it work. The table will hold your food no matter what it looks like. The dresser will hold your clothes (even if you do have to struggle to get the drawers open every now and then). And if you need a whisk that badly, I suggest the dollar store. A one time payment of $1 is a way better deal than upgrading your kitchen utensils for $20 a month. While I am at it... - GO TO THE DOLLAR STORE before you check somewhere else. As much as I love Target... you can get that sponge for a whole lot cheaper at the dollar tree. (1. because it is like three for a dollar and 2. you won't pick up a bunch of random stuff you don't need on the way out... you will just have to pack that extra stuff in the end... and it WON'T fit). - Pack pictures. Since I can't be around my family and friends all the time, it is nice to see their faces staring back from the fridge. - Always have cash on you. I AM THE WORST at this rule... but it is necessary from time to time. - Use the rubbermaid containers with the clasps on the end, the lids pop off of the other ones too easily... and repacking a box in the parking lot because all your stuff flew everywhere when it slipped out of your hands... NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE. These are just a few... so as you can see... we are getting pretty smart about things.
Next question, long distance... sucks. There is really no way around that. It is just an outright crappy situation... but we do it because it is worth it. We make it work for us. We leave notes and we FaceTime. We pray and send each other bible verses. I sleep on his side of the bed and listen to his songs when he is gone. I watch A LOT of Netflix and if I am not watching FRIENDS, I am watching some crime show that makes me realize how grateful I am for how safe he makes me feel. We make sure that we laugh so hard when we are together... that when we aren't, the memories can carry us through. Sometimes it is worth the time apart... to realize how much we love our time together. It is worth the phone call in the middle of the night after a game, just to hear how it went. Getting to see his face waiting for me through the airport terminal literally fills that gap in time, and suddenly the long distance didn't even happen. Sure it is hard in the moment and tears are most certainly shed (on my part at least) but overall, I appreciate him more because he works hard to love me, even from a distance.
To wrap up "how we handle all this hard stuff"... Here is what our first 2 years of long distance taught us, our next 3 years of traveling as a married couple confirmed, and our 6th year in a foreign country has reinforced: if it isn't about love... then it isn't worth it. Whether it is our love for each other, a love for the game, the love of traveling, etc. If we didn't absolutely love it, it wouldn't be worth it. Thank goodness we have enough love to kick the "hard stuff's" butt!
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