It is almost that time of year again... time for the season to end and for us to make our trip home! The last regular season game is in exactly one month. I can almost hear Bella squealing when we pull into the driveway, taste the Wings N' More, feel how heavy my God daughter has gotten when I pick her up for the first time in months. I can hear the rain on our tin roof. I can physically smell my mom's favorite Bath and Body Works candle burning every Sunday, when we visit after church. I can hear all the tiny humans at school saying "Mrs. Eppler, you're back! Where did you live this year?" I can feel all of the sweet people at church giving me a hug and welcoming us home. Y'all have no idea how excited I am about all of those. And they are just the tip of the iceberg on the things we look forward to coming home to... but I can also feel my life changing. Again. And not for the first time this year. I already miss kissing Tyler goodbye as he leaves for the field, wishing him good luck, and doing my best to remind him that God's got this (whatever "this" may be that day). I miss people cheering as they realize who is coming out of the bullpen when they hear Kid Rock's "Cowboy" playing. I miss how proud I feel when I see Tyler take the mound. I miss taking my time getting ready for the game and then rushing in the last 5 minutes as I realize I am going to be late... probably because I spent too much time deciding what food I could get away with sneaking in the field that day. I miss Tyler waking up the entire apartment complex at midnight with his singing, when the baseball schedule has us all messed up... and we can't sleep. I miss the consistency of quiet time I get each day for my bible study. I miss knowing that when Tyler gets home, it is just me and him... I miss living in our own little world, and it's not even over yet. But the time is coming. It is time for the "lasts" of the season. The bittersweet time of year when we give up baseball and quality time with each other, but get to live in our own house and love on our family and friends!
Everyone assumes the hard part of coming home is the packing... and they aren’t wrong. We have accumulated 8 months of stuff and now we have to pack it all back into our handful of suitcases and fly it across the world. I personally used to think the tough part of moving home for off season was the constant unknown of what is coming next. Not knowing where we will live next season. Not knowing if we are going to play winter ball. Not knowing how to plan for a family. Not knowing if we will get to spend important holidays/ anniversaries together. Not knowing truly how long our off season will be. Generally, just not knowing what direction our life is going, on a day to day basis. Just sitting around waiting to see the snowball effect that baseball has, take over our lives at the last minute... sometime in the middle of the off season. But honestly, I have come to terms with all that. It comes with the territory. And as we get a little older, it is easier to see that all of that isn't even close to the hard part. We look forward to moving back to Texas! But when we get there, everything is different. And that is the hardest part of coming home.
It’s easy to get into our own world during baseball season. We live far away. That happens. But when we come home it is hard to realize that our home, friends, life outside of baseball... is moving on without us. Friends are changing, babies are growing up, family is living their life and we aren’t a part of any of it. We were gone and the world kept turning. We get back and it’s like we just dropped in from outer space. We have mutual friends that aren’t even friends with each other any more. We have family growing up and we missed some big things. Even the small things like a friend getting a new car. It isn't drastic but when we say, "Hey, when did you get a new car?!" and their response is 7 months ago... it feels strange. No one has to call us during season to tell us they got a new car... that isn't my point... I'm just saying, sometimes it feels like we are living a double life. It’s hard popping in out of nowhere in the off season and acting like nothing happened. Like things didn’t change and we aren’t confused.
It's tough getting home, to the place we love most, and realizing that we missed so much. It isn't easy to come to terms with the fact that... we have friends with 6 month old babies that literally didn't exist when we left. People moved. People got married. And we weren't around for any of it. And of course... we knew these things were happening. We talk to our family and friends that are at home, all the time! But hearing what is going on is a lot different than living in the reality of it. "Easier said than done", I believe is how the saying goes.
With that being said, when we get home... we don't want to miss anything else. All we want to do is make up for lost time. We want to go to every event and spend time with everyone we love but it isn't always that easy. Everything that everyone else does in a full year, we do in four months. We will try to see everyone, go to all the birthday parties, drink all the margaritas, but please forgive us if we can't make it to something. We are trying to squeeze everything in. And we feel so bad when we have to miss more things. We are trying to see everyone... we promise!
So to the people we are coming home to, please forgive us when we are lost or confused during a conversation. Bear with us when we want to eat Mexican food for the 4th time that week. Please don't resent us if we can't make it to an event, even though it seems like it would be easy to attend because we are in the same state again... Try to understand that we are happy to be home but we miss baseball too. But mostly, hug us and never let us go... because we missed you!
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